An Embodied Approach to Grief
My name is Cami– I’m a Grief Coach, Yoga Teacher, and Craniosacral Therapist. My dad died when I was 11, and my step-dad died when I was 15. I was there for both of their deaths, and leading up to that, I watched as disease slowly took their bodies from them. I ignored my grief for a long time and suffered from mental and physical challenges because of it.
Through my own healing journey, I’ve learned some things about life, death, and grief. I want to take a few minutes to normalize talking about death and grief, and how these experiences change our lives and force us to create a whole new way of being. I also want to emphasize the importance of showing up for yourself and receiving the support you need to get you through this challenging transition.
Death and loss are life changers.
After the death of a loved one, we can feel like our whole world has turned upside down.
Our special person that we built our lives around, that we loved so deeply and intimately, who we would do anything for to protect them and keep them safe, has died.
Our routines that once provided a sense of comfort and familiarity have shifted, and we may feel like our whole foundation has just collapsed.
Suddenly, everything is different. Nothing will ever be the same.
This can feel absolutely heart breaking. The gut-wrenching feelings that arise with loss are hardly describable, and for those who have experienced a death of a loved one, the feelings are all too relatable:
That emptiness of grief that has carved out a deep, gaping hole in the chest and belly.
The enraging anger and anxiety that bubbles up in the stomach, creating an irritating heat that nothing can soothe.
The overflowing tears and waves of sadness that drown your heart and constantly wash over you every time you remember that your person has died.
The confusion that lives heavily inside your head, clouding your ability to think straight or make sense of anything at all.
Or that hopeless feeling of fear and betrayal that keeps us chained to our bed all day, unable to move, eat, or participate in life.
These intense feelings are all too real. And as much as we try to avoid them or want to distract ourselves from the pain, it’s impossible to ignore the fact that everything is different. You feel destroyed.
Meanwhile society is screaming at you to “move on” and get back to “normal.” Often times we feel like we have to dismiss our grief in order to keep up with the fast-paced world that we live in. We must immediately get back to work, school and all the other responsibilities that life demands from us. We feel like there’s no time to grieve.
What the hell are we supposed to do??? How do we even begin to adjust to a life without our most important and special person? How do we navigate a society that doesn’t want to address grief or acknowledge death? How do we take care of ourselves in our deep sadness and learn to engage with life again?
We take it one day at a time.
One moment at a time.
One breath at a time.
We learn how to exist again. Ever so slowly, but surely.
After being stripped from all sense of safety and security, we come back home to ourselves.
We return, again and again, to our body, to our breath.
At our own pace. In our own time.
We show up for ourselves.
We let others show up for us, too. We accept support.
As the raw numbness of grief slowly dissipates, we begin to feel again.
We start to welcome feelings of okayness. And eventually, feelings of happiness, joy, and peace can coexist with the grief.
You will always love your person. That will never change. Your grief will never just “go away” because you will always love them. And because your love for them is so deep, your grief for their loss is deep, too.
Over time, your ability to navigate grief will become easier. Existing in the world again will start to feel less confusing. You’ll become more familiar with your triggers and learn the tools to support yourself in dealing with the stress of grief.
You’ll start to learn what a new “normal” might look like for you now. With time, you’ll slowly feel a desire to rebuild your life and create something worth living for.
What does a meaningful life after loss look like for you? If that question seems unattainable or feels too far away, that’s okay.
Your grief has no timeline.
If you’re feeling stuck in your grief and you’re ready to move foward and start creating something new, I congratulate you. You’re ready to begin engaging with life again and welcoming experiences of joy. You’re advocating for yourself, you’re ready to make some changes, and you recognize that you might need some special support in getting there.
No matter where you’re at in your journey, the support of a grief coach can help you to get back on your feet in a way that’s inclusive to your unique needs, beliefs, and circumstances.
Grief coaching is a safe space to explore your loss, express your grief, and come to a deeper understanding of what life and death mean to you.
Yeah, focusing on this stuff can feel so uncomfortable, but like I said, death and loss are life changers. In order to heal and move forward, it’s necessary to consciously process these significant experiences. What you’re going through is NOT easy. And you don’t have to go through it alone.
The role of a grief coach is to support you during this transition as you re-orient yourself to a new normal, now that everything has changed. A grief coach understands the impact that death and grief have on all aspects of life. They’re someone who can offer you tools and resources to help you navigate your grief and rebuild your life after loss.
The goal is to get you “unstuck” from your grief so that you can move forward in creating a life that you really, truly want to live. As a grief coach, it’s my intention to empower you in creating a life of purpose after loss, where grief can co-exist with joy, peace, and happiness.
In my practice, I use a whole-person, body-centered approach to grief support. In our sessions, you’ll learn how to tend to your grief in a way that works for YOU, so that you can best support yourself and your body in your healing journey.
The stress of grief is incredibly impactful on the body. Bottled up stress and unexplored emotions can become trapped in the body and can lead to physical pain and suffering (I learned that one the hard way). With my background in Yoga and Craniosacral Therapy, together we can work to release stress and address these trapped emotions that keep you feeling stuck in your grief:
You’ll learn how to express your grief and get it out of your body.
You’ll learn how to use breath and movement to self-regulate your nervous system so that you can remain grounded through the triggers and waves of grief.
You’ll practice mindfully showing up for yourself with love and acceptance, even during the depths of your dark emotions.
Your whole life has changed. I hear you. I see you.
You have to re-learn how to live your life again without your person– this is new, unfamiliar territory, but I truly believe that you’re capable of figuring it out. If I can do it, you can do it, too.
As your coach, I’ll work with you to help you to gather the resources that you need to move forward with confidence in your ability to support yourself in your healing. You’ll gain tools to help you move grief out of your body, release stress, and come home to yourself.
If you’re feeling ready to welcome the support of a grief coach, I’d love to schedule a call with you so we can get to know each other and see if we’re a good fit.
It would be my honor to walk with you through your grief journey. I know that my dads and your loved one(s) are cheering us on as we make sense of this beautiful yet mysterious human experience.
And if you’re not feeling ready quite yet, that’s okay, too.
Continue showing up for yourself with kindness in your healing process. Remember that you’re not alone and whatever you’re feeling is valid. You deserve to receive the support that you need in order to feel better, to create meaning from your life and death experiences, and to rebuild a life that you really, truly, want to wake up for every day.
I’m looking forward to connecting with you, hearing your story, and learning about your person.
Keep breathing, you got this.
-Cami
